Why do I feel like writing every time January hits its end? Because this is already the 2nd time. None of that matters though lmao. Okay so, today is Sunday and I feel like writing something to ease off my mind before I let it back to think about work.
It's been almost a month since I started new work and moved to another city. I need to adapt to new environment, including the weather and friends. Yes, most of my co-workers have the same age as mine hence I'd love to call them friends rather than the former. The thing about friendship for me though, is always about the vibe. If they passed my vibe radar, then we must have been able to bond and get along well, or vice versa.
My God has been soooo kind to me by surrounding me with people I can laugh a lot with and chat about almost everything with, not only limited to work loads. I'm so grateful for them, like soooo grateful. I just hope we could continue like this though for years and years to come. We might encounter different opinions in the future (ofc we all have different heads??), but I hope it's not enough to break the bond we have started to weave.
Nah, the bad side about friendship for me is that I grew really fond of them and frequently got insecure and a bit possessive. It's like I don't wanna let others take them from me or let others get as close as me to them. WELP I REALLY NEED TO WORK ON THIS BECAUSE THIS IS NOT HEALTHY AT ALL AND IT'S EXHAUSTING. What's more annoying is I can't even conceal how I don't like it from them. Take this for example. When someone whose vibe isn't vibing with mine aka someone I can't really get along with talked to my friends, I'd totally be quiet and look at my phone instead. And my friends would look at me with stares that said what's wrong with you?! Why the sudden silence?? You're usually so loud?? and I could only shrug it off and said it's nothing lmao yes that's just how obvious I am. I wear my heart on my sleeves.....yes. You know what, one of my new close friends even said that I'm an extrovert hence I seem to not be able to stop talking when I'm with her. Lmao surprised but not surprised I guess?
Generally speaking, I'm always so loud, affectionate and protective to those I love. Sometimes I don't even think about their gender, whether they are boys or girls, they're all my friends and I love them all the same. It bothers me so much when one said boys and girls could not be friends without catching feelings and I was like????? Why????? Because I totally can?????? I love my guy friends like they were my older brothers?? When I said I love them, I love them platonically and platonically only, not more??? But again, this might be just me lmao.
Friendship is just like another ship that has to go through ups and downs; when storms hit, it shakes violently and the crew needs to stay together and do all they could to not let the ship sinks so they could survive and see the sun rises beautifully the next day, just like nothing happened. Storms only makes the crew grew stronger and closer if they could survive it. I personally always love to take the storm heads on, rather than hiding and face them later on because it might turn bigger and explode while the clock keeps on ticking. I mean, you guys could always openly tell where my fault is so I could reflect and properly apologize, rather than badmouthing me from behind. I'm blunt, too blunt for some of you perhaps, but I swear I never had any bad intention for all of my dear friends. So just come and talk to me. I'm still trying to be the better version of me, so I apologize in advance if you guys have to bear with this ugly version for now.
Last but not least, thank you for being my friend. I really am thankful for each and every single one of you. May our encounters brought you joy and happiness, or at the very least, lessons to learn.
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