._.

안녕!

Long time no post eh? Just wanna share some feeling I had cause I have no one to talk to.

I'm one of the biggest fandom on the world, a fan of a Korean boyband named Super Junior. Last month ago, they held a world tour concert here, Super Show 4 INA and I couldn't watch it. I cried for about 3 days as long as the concert were holding on. I didn't know why but my tears just fell down away. And the disappointed feeling I had in that time, is still here now. It stucks like it doesn't now where to go instead to my heart. And it made me crying again at school today.

I don't have any friend who are being in the same fandom as me, so I can't tell this to them. I have some kpopers friends but they're Hottest or even someone who says that she's a Shawol. Yeah, whatever. She just wanna join me with that stuff? Oh come on girl, you waste your time if you hope that you'll get any attention from me. Think that I'm an devil or something like that? Maybe yes. I just hate her for a thing that matter.

Wanna know what I think when my parents didn't allowed me to come? I thought that they were too protective! I just wanna watch a concert! The first concert I wanna come to! Oh God, please make me strong :( that's the only sentence I said many times in  that time. I broken. Much more broken than when I know that the person I love didn't love me too. It felt so hurt and hard, you know? Hard cause I've to show my smile in front of them. Fake smile, no doubt. How much I hurted? Can't describe. Even when my parents ask me to join them to Trans Studio Bandung, I didn't feel anything. I feel empty. I was tired. Just tired and there's no happy feeling. My body was there but my mind have flown away to MEIS Ancol at 28th April 2012. So sad? An irony? It was. The other irony thing is when I saw their concert was filming on TV and the only thing I could do is looking with the HOPEFULLY-CAN-COME-THERE looking type. Hahaha I was so envy with any other ELF who could go there .___. However, life goes on. I have to continue my life and just hope that I can see them someday, on their other concert. I still love them til this day. Don't know when it'll be end. But I hope it wouldn't. So sorry for posting this here but I can't tell my feeling to anyone else, cause there's no one understand. Trims.

Love,

Fai